I am reminded of something my old headmaster used say when we weren’t working as well as we should have been at school (rather optimistically, he supposed it was because we were praying too much). He used to say that in order to give glory to God, “you don’t have to go live in a cave; you just have to do your duty of state”.
I can see (at least, in theory) that God is more pleased by the small sacrifices I make every day in my ordinary, frustratingly human life. To not be able to aspire to do great things, even “in the service of God” as St. Ignatius says in a quote somewhere on this blog, is in itself a sacrifice, which gives glory to God. Doing great things only glorifies myself.
It is not the actual physical exertion that counts towards a man's progress, nor the nature of the task, but by the spirit of faith with which it is undertaken. – St. Francis Xavier
2 comments:
I think that the Lord works to mould your life so that the experiences you have will develop you towards his intended goal for you.
Note that whilst we all have free will and can react in any way we choose to a situation I do believe that if the Lord wants to call us to a religious life then he will place things in our path that will both test us and develop us towards this. How we choose to react to them is of course our choice.
I say that to agree that you should continue to study as you are. The life experience you gain will help you to understand the issues of the people you may one day be praying for, it will help you emphasise with people and by better knowing and understanding the people around you, you will be better able to understand yourself. (Very philosophical but true nonetheless)
Do you wear the Scapula? If not have you considered it. Speak to a local priest.
Remember that the feeling of a call may be realised quickly or more slowly. If you asked me what I would be when I was 15. I would have told you that I would be a priest by 24. Well I'm 31 now and have finally been given the grace to step forward in faith. Then wasn't the 'right' time - now it is.
I'm not saying for a moment that you are unlikely to succeed or will experience a delay working through your faults as I did (13yrs to come to terms with myself) but instead that you should consider the Lords hand in everything and give thanks for the life you are leading and that he has touched you and given you this feeling of call in addition to the things you are doing.
I really would advocate a Spiritual Director though. Perhaps the vocations director for either area could reccoment one with email / webcam - it wouldn't be perfect but it would help.
Also perhaps a 7 or 14 day retreat. I know Worth Abby lets you follow the monastic life.
Whatever happens I wish you luck.
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